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What this means is that Asian men are never portrayed in a romantic way and Asian women are portrayed as submissive sex objects, usually with white men. What this means is that foreign men have the impression that Asian women are easy and they are entitled to them. While giving foreign men a confidence boost, it warps their perception to the point it is not about people, but objects.

This means those who fail at home go to China because they see Asian women as a reliable back-up option. Even worse, it means that Asian women are disposable.

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It doesn't matter to the foreign male if he mistreats his partner, because if things don't work out he will just get another. In China the toxic relationship is completed, where the loser foreign male finds his submissive Asian who has an inferiority complex. There are no doubts some who are perfectly fine with being a racialized object in the relationship, but for people of sound mind and any sense of self-respect, this is a problem and not something to be sought after.

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The author is a writer from Kulturemedia, media watchdog on behalf of Asian-Americans. There's nothing like the topic of sex to get people's attention, and to get under their skin, too. But a recent article in Metro Shanghai, titled "Single foreign females in China don't have it easy," struck me as particularly wrong-headed. I don't claim to be any kind of love expert, but I have managed to stay married - to a Jiangsu woman - for over seven years, and I've seen friends from the US, Canada and England marry locals.

The writer, Stephanie N, makes a lot of bold claims and assumptions. I would like to take exception to the wearyingly familiar trope of the male expat, emboldened beyond any fair reckoning by the unwarranted admiration of the submissive Chinese woman. In Western countries, men are expected to do all the approaching in dating.


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  4. A woman having active desires is still somehow frowned upon. In China things seem to be more equal. This may be because the dating window is so restricted: high schoolers are often forbidden relationships, dorm-sharing university students lack privacy, and in a cultural trend that seems a monstrous waste women over 27 are shengnu, "leftover women" deemed too old for marriage. So Chinese women are more practical, to the point of what seems to the Western perspective hard-nosed pragmatism. They want a man, they'll approach him. So Western men find they don't have to do all the running, for once.


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    They are no longer always supplicant. Hell, they might even have options. But this doesn't mean that they go sleeping around in a frenzy of easy one-night stands. All of my expat male friends dated exclusively, and then married. Sure, there may be people who do hooking-up, but they'd be doing it wherever they were. Stephanie N also repeats the image of the deferential, submissive Chinese woman.